"Push the fader gifted animator/One for the now and eleven for the later"
--Red Hot Chili Peppers' 'Dani California,' from 2006's 'Stadium Arcadium'

Not to be a hater, but your lyrics could be ... uh, greater.

Bad Lyric of the Week: John Mayer

"One day our generation/Is gonna rule the population"
-- John Mayer's 'Waiting for the World to Change,' from 2006's 'Continuum'

Does this mean serial-dating starlets is just Phase One in Mayer's evil plan for global domination?

Bad Lyric of the Week: Silversun Pickups

"Come join in the last hurrah/With open sores and open jaw"
-- Silversun Pickups' 'Well Thought Out Twinkles,' from 2006's 'Carnavas'

Apocalyptic indie-rock gibberish, or just a typical Tuesday night in Eliot Spitzer's hotel room?

Bad Lyric of the Week: R.E.M.

"'Cause if heaven does exist/With a kickin' playlist"
-- R.E.M.'s 'DJ at the End of the World,' from 2008's 'Accelerate'

"Kickin'"? Michael, you're 48 years old. Don't fight it. This is like hearing your dad say something is "tight."

Bad Lyric of the Week: Fall Out Boy

"We take sour sips from life's lush lips/And we shake shake shake the hips in relationships"
-- Fall Out Boy's 'The Carpal Tunnel of Love,' from 2007's 'Infinity on High'

Give Pete Wentz credit for coming up with lots of rhymes for "sips," but ... wow. If his wedding vows even remotely resemble these lines, Ashlee might just say, "I don't."

Bad Lyric of the Week: Beastie Boys

"Everybody's rappin' like it's a commercial/Acting like life is a big commercial"
-- Beastie Boys' 'Pass the Mic,' from 1992's 'Check Your Head'

Mike D rhymed a word with itself/Rappers shouldn't rhyme a word with itself.

Bad Lyric of the Week: Kate Nash

"If I wanna think, I'll think in my head"
-- Kate Nash's 'Mariella,' from 2007's 'Made of Bricks'

You gotta love a musician who demonstrates her firm grasp on the anatomy of the brain yet simultaneously puts her cerebral capacity on trial.

Bad Lyric of the Week: Fergie

"And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket"
-- Fergie's 'Big Girls Don't Cry,' from 2006's 'The Dutchess'

Conjuring up images of innocent kids and their security devices in a song that begins with a man's musk on her bare skin is just wrong. Delivering the line in borderline baby talk pushes it over the edge.

"No one else can feel it for you"
-- Natasha Bedingfield's 'Unwritten,' from 2004's album of the same name

Geez, 'Tash, we never thought of it that way before. No one else can, can they? Huh. How 'bout that?

Bad Lyric of the Week: Interpol

"You wear those shoes like a dove"
-- Interpol's 'Heinrich Maneuver,' from 2007's 'Our Love to Admire'

Courtesy of Paul Banks -- the man who brought you "Her love's a pony" and compared the subway to "a porno" -- comes yet another needlessly challenging puzzle. Do I wear doves on my feet, or do I wear my shoes the way a dove would wear shoes? But birds don't wear ... Oh, never mind.

Bad Lyric of the Week: Ben Lee

"Your love got big, your jokes got worse each afternoon/Like bacon at a bar mitzvah, like a lead balloon."
-- Ben Lee's 'Ripe,' from 2007's album of the same name

Far be it to find fault with Lee's Talmudic scholarship on what is kosher and what is trayf, but surely he's heard of the soy-based Fakin' Bacon by now.

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